Monday, January 18, 2010

new blog

The new blog is going well. Has kept me on track for working out & eating well.

In other news: I have started to read some books by Sandra Felton (she started Messies Anonymous and is now a speaker in the area of organization). They are very helpful to me in getting organized around the house and getting housework into a manageable realm.

That is all for now (a short post!) but I will post more soon. Gotta get back to the weekend chores while I have the energy and the time.


Sunday, January 10, 2010

A New Blog?????

OK, I am thinking of creating a new blog (in addition to this one). One that is totally anonymous (a couple people know who I am and read this blog). One just on food, diet, issues and the like. I know that everyone and their brother has a blog like that....but I dont really care. It is not necessarily for people to read, but for me to write. I really feel like I have to focus just on that for a while.

I was inspired by a really great blog I saw - maybe you saw it on CNN:

Check our the is pretty cool.

I know these things:
I am addicted to food
I have tried for most my life to deal with it and can't
I now weight over 250#
My well-being is affected by my weight
I have let myself go, terribly

I don't even know if I can actually do anything that will be successful...but not doing anything isn't getting me anywhere.

So, anyone else out there have an anonymous food blog? does it help?

Would love to hear about it.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


Well, it's been a while. I haven't posted because of my own perfectionism: wanting posts to be informative, well-thought out, entertaining (i.e., perfect). So, today I am just regurgitating in type. What the hell.

I am so tired. I am sure I could crawl in bed and sleep for a week. I was doing well and then over-did it with the holidays. Now, we had a NICE holiday; some awesome food (courtesy of yours truly). The kids had a blast, baked for days and gave away cookies & bars, we had family over for three different (and amazing) dinners, did the whole nine yards. I don't regret it. But now I am so worn down and sore, I don't know how to get through the day.

When I am like this, I feel so out of control. Not the "out of control" where I am acting crazy, doing crazy and risky things....more like the feeling of driving a car with the accelerator stuck and the car is gaining speed. I feel inept to handle the day-to-day aspects of life: taking care of the baby, the kids, the house, the dogs, and so on.

I sleep as often as I am allowed (when the baby is napping and the kids are at school). But, it seems it is taking a while to recharge my batteries. I guess it is just one more level of acceptance: that I am not the person I used to be and I cannot do the things I used to do.

I guess I should be grateful for the things I can do, because I am more fortunate than lots of people with FM or CFS. But it is still a tough pill to swallow. I feel like a half of a person.